In the universal life of our souls – that what we really are – it is rather difficult to say where or when something started or ended. So for the sake of this story I will start on a day like any other, but very unique in its very own way.
Without being aware of it I had been exceptionally tired for a long time, seasons came and went without really being noticed. I had been hunting my own tail for way too long, yet I found myself living my own 'dream' while pursuing an international career. Then one day, without me being aware of it, a wish or balloon found its way out. Straight from my heart into the great wide open space. Up in the higher realms the balloon was received and found with a handwritten message on it. The strain and cry for help could be read from the jittery letters: 'Let me go home'.
Cause and effect
The universe acted upon it straightaway, for my ego probably a bit too straight, but I was fired the very next day! This event triggered an inner earthquake of a magnitude I'd never experienced before. I, or my ego, was so angry that I stomped home. Within a week I found myself back in the Netherlands, completely disillusioned, residing with my parents in the home I once left. Three weeks later, as if it wasn't enough, my mother almost died during unexpected surgery. So there I was, mister incredible who had been on a mission to rule the world, caring for my recovering mother with no idea what to do next.
Mine or yours
In the two years that followed I decided to become an entrepreneur and work as a freelance 3D artist in my home country. My former international career helped to spread the word and get me into places, but in the end it turned out to be a final chord of a dream that turned out not to be mine. I found it a very bitter pill to swallow, discovering that I dedicated my life to someone else’s dream. In part it had been my parents’ dream, but also society’s dream: you have to be financially successful in order to live a meaningful life. Now I know that this idea couldn't be further from the truth.
A fresh start
After my mother had recovered, once again the universe sent me a signal. My sister came by and almost demanded that I visit the OpenUP Festival in the Netherlands. A creative space for heart-warming souls, to share and be together. She knew that I was in search of something, a hint for why I came into this life, this festival happened to be quite important, but how little did I know.
Going to such a place, for 5 days in a row, was a major leap for me. Knowing that my sister would be there did help, but still. I still remember my first arrival. I considered most of the people who welcomed me pretty much crazy. They all wanted to know how I felt, how my journey to the festival had been and above all, they wanted to hug me while still seated in my car. O boy, in a flash I wished I could go home, but this time the universe had something else in mind...
I experienced all sorts of resistance, hesitation, but above all I felt relieved. It was for the first time in my entire life that people really noticed me. They kept saying 'crazy' things like: you are gifted and beautiful. I had gazed at my reflection in the mirror more than once and associated myself with all sorts of things, but gifted or beautiful were never one of them.
What used to be unseen
During the festival I went to a workshop about mediumship because it caught my attention, but I didn't know why. It was only the day before that I had learned how to meditate, never before had I experienced any spiritual experience in my entire life. I happened to be quite skeptical about the whole thing. Yet in this very workshop I had the most intense experience one can imagine, I saw my past lives and my future, but above all there were tears, like endless waterfalls. I can tell you that in that session I cried more than in my entire life before that. I'm not sure if that is scientifically accurate, but it surely felt like it. Although I didn't understand it completely, it was rather clear that mediumship, or communicating with spirits from the unseen world, was going to play an important role in my life.
We fast-forward to the present day, after many, many hours of meditation and practice I'm practicing my mediumship. A very important but also terrifying step has been to let the world know that I have this gift. While I facilitate more and more readings, guided meditations and Trance Dance sessions, my own development continues.
I have been through many waves of doubt and regaining trust in order to allow my gift to become an essential part of my life. In this process I have experienced a state of what is commonly known as enlightenment, multiple times, and I have fallen back to earth an equal amount of times. While doing so I found that it is not the light that we should strive for, nor the dark, but act in the space that lies in between, because the divine lies in the universal center. It is from the divine that light and dark, male and female, good and evil, beautiful and ugly has separated. In this duality we find our planet earth, our lives and our bodies, which all act as a vehicle for our souls to experience these two extremes. Ultimately, to realize that we have to combine light and dark, male and female to transform duality into oneness, or the divine if you wish. It is in union of the two where creativity and creation occurs. You only have to think about how male and female energy needs to merge in order to procreate new human life.
Waves of change
To give you a slight insight into my current challenges, even after all I have seen, experienced and the countless confirmations I have received, I still have doubts. Sometimes it gets so bad that I doubt my own gift, while this staggers people around me, it is very true. Time and time again I have to endure the waves, sometimes they almost knock me down, but every single time there is the universe telling me to get up and showing me that I'm to decide if a wave will have any effect on me. Even when it is too big to sail, I can still decide to dive underneath.
The clue in all this is that your heart, or inner compass, will show you the way. In order to see, hear or feel its direction, you need to be aware and be in the present moment. It is here, in between what once was and what soon will be, where creation occurs, where you can access the universal wisdom and take control of your own life. So in this present moment, only a split second away from your next digital distraction, I challenge you to be quiet for a moment and allow yourself to feel and experience life as it is meant to be, right here, right now.